When children are abandoned by their families often they experience low self-worth. The self-talk is like this. If the very people that suppose to love me abandoned me then what and who am I? The inner child is often wounded and hides from itself, family and society. When this child grows up it will exhibit over ambitions in the early days of its adulthood and when it reaches around mid 30’s the low self-worth behavior will often surface. If this child does not choose therapy it will continue to chase away love, money, and any kind of happiness. Some of the symptoms are over jealousies, insecurities, and run away from commitment. They often broke off the relationship with a drop of a hat. Now, these conditions are not by any means the end-all of conditions. Each has a different set of behaviors but the bottom line is Self-destructive.
Low Self-worth and The Ability To Earn and Keep Money
When you have low self-worth you won’t be able to hold and keep a job. You won’t be able to hold and keep the money you earned and you won’t be able to make the kind of money that you deserve. It will take the power of discernment and self-introspection to spot these and work to get rid of them. If you don’t you will suffer a very unhappy adult life and you will be poor as a result of your low self-worth.
Self-worth low or high is an indication of the ability to create wealth and keep it. People with low self-worth squander their income on people and things that are not in their best interests. They give money to buy love or they give things to make sure people will love them back. All of this is hidden very much in your younger days. But sooner or later the problems will surface. You could never tell a person who has low self-worth in her 20’s or even 30’s. She is often a workaholic and spends an ordinate amount of money to improve her looks. She is often thought she is ugly and probably nobody will love her yet in outer appearances she can show obnoxiousness and contempt. She could never keep a long-term relationship and she often is with people that are lower than her or abusive in some ways. Depending on how she was abandoned she can be very jealous of her lover. He can’t even look at any other woman or love any other things as she will deem that he may leave her. In the back of an abandoned person is this belief. They are worth nothing and being abandoned again is a kiss of death and they rather run than stay and face it. More often than not these thoughts are not true.
Abandonment and Self-worth How Does It Relate?
When a child from zero age to 6 years old and who was abandoned by family members that action would leave a scar that very much screwed up that child’s life all the way from 6 years old till the day he/she dies unless he/she works on it. This happened to me personally when I was not even born yet. My dad abandoned my mother and me and went after another woman. My mother carried me in her womb and experienced all types of emotions. She was so sad that she had no milk for me when I arrived. Thus I had to be at my aunt’s mercy for my well-being. When I grew up and started a relationship I often worried my lover would leave me. I had an uncontrollable urge to check his emails and his phone. I was hoping “to catch him” in action. I did not know my behavior was very much matched to my mother. Then one day upon seeing my current lover chat innocently with another woman I lost control. The overwhelming feelings of wanting to cry came to the surface I ran into an alley and sobbing leaving my lover to bewilder. He did not have any idea and neither did I. When I got back I resolved to find out what was wrong with me. Fast forward 12 years later I only licked that by doing the taping (Emotional Freedom Technique). I will tell you in detail how to do this to save yourself.
My current relationship is loving and peaceful now. However, prior to that I still had some insecurities lingering within me and I did have some very wild episodes with him. With God’s grace and the love of my Master inside I caught it in time and worked on it diligently. I can now be happy and secured within the arms of the man I love and who loves me. I am no longer wanting to run away or avoid commitment.
How To Know If You Have Low Self-Worth?
Unless we know for sure we have low self-worth the road to recovery is not speedy. So how do you know for sure you have low self-worth? The only way that I know is to use our bodies to give us the answer we seek.
First, you want to stand straight up and make sure you drink plenty of water before trying out this exercise. You want to ask your body to give you the answer yes- see which direction it is swaying. Seek to find out which way the body falls indicative of a yes or no. Once you test and know for sure which direction is a yes and which is a no it is time to ask this question.
“I have low self-worth”. Then see which direction your body falls. Remember to ask in an affirmative voice instead of a questionable voice. Once you have the answer it is time to tap and change the answer. Keep taping until you get a positive answer. Remember one time is not enough to change this as it is something embedded for a long time. It may take a few times before the change sticks.
Here’s how you tap …
How To Tap Away Your Insecurities
The Truth About the Emotional Freedom Technique
The emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help you overcome various types of problems like anger, fear, grief, sadness, guilt, shame, self-pity, stress, and many more. EFT is a natural, non-invasive technique that has been used successfully by thousands of people to relieve emotional and physical discomfort for years. Its calming and soothing effects help to alleviate anxiety and depression. It is safe and effective, so if you are looking for a way to treat some of these issues, this may be a great choice for you.
The whole process of EFT involves four steps. First, you will need a short setup phrase. This setup phrase will serve as a cue that you need to tap on some body parts like the top of your head, or the base of your thumb, or even the tips of your fingers. The setup phrases are extremely important because they will provide a visual cue that you will need to focus on as you tap.
Next, you will move up from the initial intensity level to tapping the crown of your skull. This is done by tapping directly to specific meridian points on the top of your head. The intention of this is to stimulate the brain stem to release natural chemicals called endorphins. These chemicals will make you feel much better.
Finally, you will move up to tapping specific points on the base of your thumb, or to the tips of your fingers. Again, the purpose of this is to stimulate the meridian points to release natural opiates, which give you a feeling of pleasure. When the feeling becomes constant and persists for at least 10 minutes, it is time to complete the setup phrase. During this stage, you must completely accept whatever result you get, no matter how unpleasant it may be.
Once you have learned to tap, it will not be long before you begin using this amazing technique to reduce or eliminate all of your negative emotional patterns.
Before you can reap the benefits of the emotional freedom technique though, you must first accept its importance and accept the fact that you are, in fact, flawed. Until you do, nothing will ever change. Unfortunately, this flaw is usually so deeply ingrained in our beliefs that it will take some effort to reprogram our thinking and our habits. This is a great reason why the emotional freedom technique is so important as it helps us to break free of our negative emotional patterns and live a happier life.
P.S. My own method of taping. I usually speak out loud what is the problem that is plaguing me. For example, if I feel that I am lazy and I need to change that my phrase while taping is- This feeling of laziness. Yes, I speak out what I feel inside while taping. I kept doing it until I examine within myself that I am no longer feeling lazy. For me, that eliminates any and all insecurities I have at that time. Remember to do it when it raises its ugly heads again. It may take a few times before the root of whatever you try to eliminate is gone.