Fear is learned to condition. It is emotion is a reaction that stems from an understanding of the harm caused to either the body or the soul. It doesn’t have to be yours, you can have fear for others. Does a child know not to take a bone from a dog’s mouth? No, not until the dog has nipped at the child’s hand is there a state of fear instilled. Does a young girl know the pain of heartbreak before she has experienced love for the first time? No, she does not but thereafter she’s experienced and cautious.
When pain and suffering are experienced the connection is made between the experience and the emotion through thinking. Those emotions continue to live deep within our subconscious and until we experience a separation of self from that fear when it arises it maintains a hold on us, providing conditioned reactions for similar experiences as we encounter them. Only through new experiences or by reconditioning the mind by reprogramming the subconscious mind can we overcome our fears.
You, however are not fear. Fear itself is a conditioned response and you are separate. It may be that worldly things you are afraid of, such as relationships, still have a grasp on your Life.
Ego
Ego is similar to fear in that it is a form within our minds we are identifying with. Typically Ego lives within your mind as an image for yourself and your expectations of other forms around you. For example: If you were driving in traffic and another car pulls into your lane without blinking and cut you off you may react out of anger or frustration. This is an example of your ego being offended because of the expectation you had for the other driver.
Ego is who you imagine yourself to be but it is not you.
How many times from relationships have you heard, either from something you may have experienced yourself or heard from stories, that a person was made to feel as if they weren’t good enough for the other? Often times this is because of the ego one of the partners, or both, with the form of the other not meeting for former’s expectations they had for themselves. You may have also heard the phrase “it’s not you,” but there isn’t enough definition behind the separation because ego refuses to self identify. Instead, the ego has convinced the host that it is who they are.
The level of consciousness
The level of consciousness within a person can be measured by the power of their ego and how blinding it is to them of reality and the behavior they are exhibiting towards those around them. The ego believes itself to be flawless and creates a version of the truth that satisfies this belief in itself. While this vision of yourself can be used for improvement and even personal performance as in the case of visualization, without humility it can also act as a crutch, pinning someone to a false belief of their reality.
Again, Ego is an image of yourself but not actually who you are. In the case of a relationship where both parties separate due to ego’s presence. If you’ve ever felt like you weren’t ‘good enough’ for another person. Your form and titles within life have nothing to do with. Who you are and just the same they do not have anything to do with who the other person is. Our forms are not our essence.
Unfortunately, you can not directly confront the ego because it is rooted in belief. A direct confrontation will result in immediate blame, anger, and defensiveness. Let me enlighten you a little too, as you may be reading this and imagining confronting your boyfriend. Spouse, or mother by ‘helping’ them to identify their ego. This desire within you is none other however than your ego. By believing you see what is right vs what is wrong and how they should change instead of letting them decide for themselves. It is a belief in your own self-righteousness, which is also ego itself.